May 29 2009
Pushing the Buttons
All the units are up. Thatched roofs are being laid by the Indonesian crew at an amazing speed. The main kitchen is being hosed down from the construction dust and the stainless steel appliances sparkle for the first time in months. Most of the staff are back on island and there are rigorous training programs going on. There is a lively buzz in the air as a fashion show of the new uniforms will be held in the lobby today. And I am having a fight with the Director of Design and Procurement from corporate.
Miss Darling at the corporate is the embodiment of the eternal conflict between corporate and operations. She sits in her posh office somewhere in a metropolitan city and chooses supplies for a property half a world away without an inkling of the reality on site:
- 200 dainty beach umbrellas are ordered. They provide approximately a palm-sized shade under the searing tropical sun. The slightest sea breeze topples them either into the lagoon or on the future guest heads.
- As a resort frequented mostly by honeymooners, we receive 80 twin beds and 40 king beds for our 100-room property. We have wanted 80 king beds and 40 twin beds (for the odd Japanese honeymooners who require twin beds, even on honeymoon). Of course it was entirely our fault that Miss Darling messed up the bed type.
- The said twin beds are accompanied by king-sized bedsheets.
- Flat-screen TVs are in the design book. Hooray! But wait a minute. The order shows they are an older version with no swivel base. Can Miss Darling please order the version with the swivel?
o “No. Build your own swivel. I have already pushed the button.”
o Of course we have nothing else to do when opening a resort. We will have the entire engineering team dedicated to converting precious wood supplies imported at owner’s expenses to TV swivels.
- The said TVs are to arrive on property with opening four months away. Where shall we store these precious and delicate appliances?
o “Why, put them in your ballroom!”
o “Well, our property has no ballroom. We are on an island the size of a park lot.”
o “That’s not my problem.”
o “Could you please delay the shipment to perhaps a week before the opening so we can put the TVs into the units directly?”
o “No. I have already pushed the button.”
The said TVs are currently housed in a container on the main island, at $17,000 a month, at owner’s expenses. I would love to have that money to upgrade the staff accommodation, or to buy a new generator for the powerhouse, or to dry dock one of the speedboats. Thanks to Miss Darling, it is spent on storing TVs that by the time we open will be outdated by a few versions only because she cannot wait to “push the button”.
She surely pushes my buttons.
Stumble It!
